Thursday, March 17, 2011

Feeling like a clueless mom right now!!!!

I will be the first one to admit I am not a reader. Even before Addison was born, people suggested books for me to read in preparation for her and the only thing I read was the "Week by Week" book. Things have been going fine but Addison has definitely reached the pre-toddler stage, throwing fits and demonstrating defiant behaviors. This has prompted me to do some reading. So I spent 2 days soaking up this "Baby Wise" book (5-15months). All of a sudden my child rearing world that was doing just fine turned upside down. I began to think I was doing things all wrong and I didn't have her schedule regimented enough and that I needed to be more in control etc. So...I decided to put some of their techniques into practice starting 2 days ago. The book said that even at this age you can start "time out." This was new to me but I tried it anyways. So I set up her pack n play and used that as her time out space. I knew I was going to get some resistance, being that this was a new thing to her. Well...she screamed a scream that I have never heard for FOREVER!! The book doesn't say how long to leave her in there. I mean if I follow the rule of one minute for how old she is then she will not have calmed down in one minute. Is the goal to get her to calm herself down or to do one minute and take her out...but then what?? Do you comfort her because she is sooooooo upset she can't calm herself down or do you just distract her by reading a book?? Well I decided to give it another go today. Between trying to get her to go down for her usual morning nap and being in the time out space 3 or 4 times, the entire morning was nothing but screaming and crying. After one hour of this I felt soo defeated and just cried. I don't want to put her through all this if it doesn't mean anything. If I know this is just a period of time and then it will get better than I can push through it, but I honestly have no clue what I am doing and if this is the right time to start this. That book made it sound like if you don't do this now then you will have a wild child when she hits 2. I spent all day today feeling like a failed mother. All I wanted to do was go in and hug and love on her but then felt like it would cancel out everything I had already tried to do. I told myself I would give the time out thing one week and see if she recognizes the consequence but I just don't even know if I am doing the right thing right now. This is my first start at disciplining and I hate it already. There is no formula to creating the perfect child. I was so eager to read more books but now I am honestly scared to. I feel like I have created a monster in the last 24 hours, one that screams and cries non stop when I try to put her time out! She was better before the time out. So I wonder if this is making it worse? To you moms out there: When did you start time out with your children? What did you do when they threw tantrums? Any encouragement would be sooo appreciated!!

3 comments:

  1. I think mommy intuition trumps all books. Do what you feel is right. Also, I can't imagine that little angel getting in trouble as often as you say .

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  2. She is not a bad girl at all...I never felt the need to punish her until I read this book! I have decided to take a step back and just chill. My sweet girl is an angel!

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  3. A mom that I admire SO SO much & is very experienced (with 3 boys... 1 on the way) recommends the discipline book "Don't Make Me Count to Three!", by Ginger Plowman. I've been reading it & am almost done with it & I LOVE IT!!!! It's a GREAT book for Godly discipline! I'd recommend it to anyone!

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